A few months after my now-husband proposed to me I had asked him, point-blank and in the most unromantic way, “how will it work when we get married? I want to return to Asia, but your career is in the US.” He simply smiled and, as typical with die-hard optimists (and maddening to people like me) said, “things have a way of working themselves out.” Due mainly to the economic crisis, our first year as a family had its challenges as I sought meaningful work while he contemplated the next logical move in his own professional future. And then, suddenly- finally- a rather surprising opportunity requiring little contemplation presented itself; my husband was offered a position in his field of search advertising technology with a focus on East Asian engines. Regarding the required relocation to Singapore, we didn’t even have to think about it.

So, it is now official… after two years of attempting to head back to the Eastern hemisphere on a long-term basis with the goal of forging Asia-focused careers, we have made the leap. We arrived in Singapore at 2am this morning with cat in tow and are now searching for a place to call “home” while acclimating ourselves to this new environment. The moving process itself has been cathartic. My hope is back. The smog that lingered over my own career path is lifting as hiring inquiries have begun once again to trickle in; related frustration and inertia that had enveloped my last few months in New York have all but disappeared. Donating ninety percent of our possessions has served to remind us that our “stuff” has no bearing on our worth. Forgotten Mandarin translations are recollected and applied again. I feel more confident that when I do eventually return to my own country, I’ll have something more to offer it. And, my husband- the optimist- is still smiling despite his jet lag.

While New York will always be my true home, my experiences as an expatriate have had a major impact in shaping my life. My time as a child in Trinidad brought a sense of wonder about cultural difference while quickly toughening me up. I became the token white girl; our home was robbed on a regular basis; my parents embarked on their version of “The War of the Roses.” In China as a young adult, I fell head over heels with a nation and its language while finding myself simultaneously overwhelmed by what I’d deemed personal failure. I discovered who I wanted to be in China and yet I left the country broken. It is impossible to predict the effects that Singapore will have on my life, but I come armed with the knowledge of two useful truths: 1) the concept of “a fresh start” is relative and, 2) the concept of “immersion” is also relative. That said, I feel a bit wiser, more grounded this time around and I can’t wait to see what unfolds in the months ahead. After all, third time’s a charm, right?

Commentary expatriate, Singapore